My dragging day

Hello,

My Son Jacob

Today was a dragging day! Since the surgery my mom has been keeping my babies because my doctor told me not to carry anything that weight more than 5 pounds. I knew this journey would be hard but I thought that it would be hard only for me. I know my kids are in the safest most lovable place they can be in but it has me so depress not having them around me. My mom has been my rock since the beginning and I can’t thank her enough. Chad is currently working in North Carolina in a Marine Base and has been gone since July. But he did come twice to see us and was here for my surgery (he got to stay almost a week). As I write this in my bed all I can feel is loneliness because my fiancé or babies aren't here. I want to bring the babies home soooo bad but the medication I am on, makes me fall asleep like a rock and with children I need to be in alert mode. So I just go to my mom’s house and stay there with them. Today, I took Jacob (my 1 yr old) his little pool to play but after blowing it up with my own lungs he did not like it at all. (I think the water was too cold) But it was fun once his cousins and my brother and sister joined him.

How do I feel? Well I am happy that I am losing weight but I feel weak and moody when I am around food. As I fed Jacob some spaghetti I wanted to take a bite. Like I said before this is not hunger it’s my brain. My brain is used to eating fast food, candy and my Frappe Mocha.  I call it “mentally hungry”! I even stopped watching cable TV because 95% of the commercials are about food. My weakness comes from dehydration, ever since the surgery drinking liquids makes my chest hurt (even if I take little sips). I can’t sleep because I get leg cramps (those that hurt), so when I feel like one is about to happen I literally jump up from bed and it goes away but it’s impossible to fall back asleep. (Leg cramps are also cause by dehydration!) I have a doctor’s appointment on Tuesday but I will try to see them Monday because I know my body, my mouth is dry and my body is  officially asking for water. I am supposed to go back to work on Wednesday but I don’t feel ready! I am hoping my doctor will give me a few more days.

Thanks for reading!